We've been having real success with Ada sleeping through the night. After day two or three of starting the crying it out method, she sleeps through the night - anywhere from seven-thirty pm until seven am (although the last couple of mornings have been around six am). It has made a huge difference in mine and Dave's lives. We've been able to actual sit down and have a meal together. Give Sophie some much needed attention (I have an incredible amount of cat-mum guilt).
But day time naps are hard. And also different from her night time sleeping. At night, I find it hard to keep her awake past seven-thirty. Last night she almost fell asleep on me in the bath.
She actually goes down really well for her morning nap around nine am and can sleep from anywhere between an hour to two hours, but I think that there are two reasons for this:
one - she has gotten up way to early (see: six am) and is already super tired.
two - we have been feeding her breakfast of apple and pear with baby rice or apple and peach with baby rice and she is full up.
But any other daytime nap in her cot is a struggle. She will eventually go to sleep but sometimes it's thirty minutes (in total, not continually) of crying for only a twenty minute nap. What's the point in that? And her crying? More like screaming. (Attachment parenting mums, look away now). She screams so loud, that I half expect police to knock on my door because they think I'm abusing my child. Urgh, I feel so guilty just writing that (thoughts on my never ending mum guilt to feature in the not too distant future). The thing is I know she isn't in pain. I know she isn't hungry. I know that she is tired. She. just. fights. every. step. of. the. way.
But after only fifteen minutes of crying this afternoon we achieved this:
This weekend wasn't particularly eventful, or even exciting. Dave came home early on Friday after being away for two nights. We went to the bank on Saturday (see: extremely boring), went out to lunch which was overpriced and not that great. We walked to the shops, caught the bus home all on a really hot day when all I wanted it to do was rain. Sunday I went to pilates in the morning and then we walked to Clapham Common for a picnic. I did a lot of embroidery in the evenings.
But it was perfect. It's all I need. I'm sure in the future our weekends will involve going out again (but seriously, I can't even fathom having a hangover right now), but for the moment I'm happy with how things are.
I was told by a fair few mums (see: more than two) that the first three months are the hardest but afterwards things get easier. And in some respects I found that to be true. But there wasn't a magical moment where bang! three months and she is all of the sudden an angel and our lives were smooth sailing. Ada was really colicky the first couple of months, a terrible day sleeper, and just generally a super cranky pants baby.
Whilst she isn't six months yet, for me, I feel like that age will be a milestone. Maybe it's that she is becoming a bit more independent - she can sit up by herself, she is eating solid (pureed) food, can go longer stretches of entertaining herself - that I can see light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe I'm becoming more comfortable in my mum decisions. Maybe it's that it's summer. Maybe it's because she's sleeping through the night and not napping on me during the day. Maybe it's a a lot of different pieces falling into place. Whatever it is, it makes for a fun ride.
Since having Ada I don't think I've ever walked so much in my entire life. There are a couple of reasons for this.
One - it's summer and the weather is (generally) pretty nice. I don't know if I'll ever have this time off during summer again, so I plan on taking full advantage of it. If the sun is shining we keep on walking
Two - she's asleep. Ada has the innate ability to sense when we've walked in the house when she's asleep in the buggy. She could have been asleep for ten minutes or an hour and boom! she's awake again. If she's asleep in the buggy, and the weather is nice, and we have nowhere else to go, we keep on walking
Three - it calms her down. Around five o'clock in the evening is the witching hour for us. Six o'clock we start our night time routine (feeding, bath, bed et cetera) but between five and six she is a bit of a gremlin. So we generally go for a walk to Kennington Park. And if she's happy, we keep on walking.
Four - it's cheap and I'm exercising. Now that I'm getting maternity pay (don't even let me get on my soap box about that) money isn't tight, per se, but I am watching what we spend. And even though I'm going to pilates once a week, that and walking is pretty much the only exercise we do. So given the choice between the bus or walking, we keep on walking.
Five - I can take cute pictures of her in front of London landmarks, like the London eye.
Tuesdays are the days that Ada and I catch up with the other NCT mums and babies. Normally Ada is great, but lately she seems to really not enjoy it. Adults? Loves. Babies? Er, not so much.
All Poppy wanted to do was play her BFF. Ada would take one look at Poppy at start crying. She's going to have a real shock when she goes to nursery if she doesn't get over this soon.
I started reading a blog about sleeping techniques, more specifically the crying it out method. For those that don't have babies (are you evening reading this?) it can be quite a controversial method. There are two camps out there when it comes to sleep training (from what I gather) - attachment parenting (where you would nurse, rock, generally sooth your baby to sleep) and crying it out (where you let you baby cry for a increasing amount of time). Both camps are equally passionate about their cause, championing it in every corner of the internet.
Ada had been sleeping pretty well through the night, it was just getting her down that was the hardest part. From about ten or eleven weeks she was sleeping from anywhere between eight pm until seven am, with a feed at around ten thirty / eleven pm. But from eight we would put her in the sling and she would sleep on either Dave or I. This was fine but it did mean the other person did everything - preparing dinner, the dishes, laundry etc etc. Then a couple of weeks before we went to Australia we decided to rock her to sleep in our arms and put her down in her cot once she was sound asleep. This would work on the third or fourth attempt - which was usually around nine thirty or ten - still not conducive to a functioning evening for Dave and I. And then when we went to Australia all sleeping techniques were thrown out the window and we did anything to get her to sleep - in the sling, on us, in our bed. Coming home we reverted to the sling, but she was now waking up at around two thirty / three and I would give her a feed and she would sometimes go to sleep, or come into bed with me and Dave would sleep on the couch.
I spoke to one of my NCT mums that I was thinking of doing some sleep training and she is amazing with finding great informative websites. She sent me a couple of links, some which were alternatives to crying it out and the last one which was more down the crying it out route.
This blog said something along the lines 'now is the best time to start sleep training - if you do it later it's too late!'. So armed with a bucketload of mum guilt I said to Dave 'let's try crying it out tonight'. I think he was a bit shocked, but followed my lead and said okay.
I finished (breast)feeding her at around eight pm, and she was almost asleep but not quite (apparently this is quite important). We put her in her cot and she straight away started crying. We left her to cry for three minutes and then Dave went in and gave her a little pat and some comforting words, but didn't pick her up. Then we left her for five minutes and Dave went in again. And then finally ten minutes.
It was really hard. She cried a lot. I cried a lot. Dave was getting really affected by it too. My head said we were doing the right thing but my heart screamed 'go in and pick her up and give her a cuddle' But we persevered. By the third time of ten minutes (so roughly forty minutes of crying/comforting) there was silence. Dave and I gave each other a 'is she really asleep?' look. I peeked in and she was. Sound asleep. It was amazing. I thought it would take hours. She did wake up an hour later, at ten pm, and we started it again, but it only took to the first round of ten minutes for her to go back to sleep.
The second night was much better again. We put her down at eight, she cried, but we got to the first round of ten minutes again and she fell asleep. She didn't wake up until eleven pm, when I gave her her bottle and she fell asleep. She woke up around two am, and I let her cry for three minutes, went to comfort her and then she fell back asleep again until seven thirty am.
Crying it out isn't for everyone, and it has only been two nights. I didn't think I would ever do it, but something during night said give it a go. I think Ada was old enough for it, and I was (sort of) strong enough as well. She's still not perfect. Naps during the day are hard, but fingers crossed we're on the right track.
Part of me wishes I started this blog when she was born. Part of me thinks, I couldn't even think straight let alone write anything coherent down. To be honest, the first couple of months are a bit of a blur. I look at other babies now who are four weeks, six weeks, ten weeks and think, I don't remember that at all. But here's a couple of bits from the first couple of months
I went into labour with Ada late Friday night, a week overdue. I might go into that in more detail a bit later, but for now, I'll just say she was born on Saturday the eigth February at 11.57am. With all things considered it was a pretty good, quick labour. I had an amazing midwife and Dave was incredible. And that's where the fairytale ends.
I found the first ten days or so incredibly hard. Again, it's all a bit of a blur, but I do remember feeling incredibly anxious as soon at the sun would set. And given it was winter in London, it was generally around four pm. I just didn't know what to expect from the nighttime feeds. Would Ada be up all night, would she be screaming, would I be okay with breast feeding? I was a bundle of nerves. But I quickly learnt that my worst fears would never eventuate, or that if something had happened the night before, the next day would always be better. It also helped immensely having Dave with me those first two weeks. My love for him grew deeper during that time.
The next month or so, after Dave had gone back to work, Ada and I had to start our routine. Which was a lot of coffees and cakes with my NCT mums. Not having any family close by (Dave's brother and sister in law live just outside of London with their boy, but they have gone back to work) these girls were my touchstone. I looked (look) forward to seeing them on Tuesdays so we can pour over every minute detail of the previous week.
I started swimming classes with Ada when she was around five or six weeks (see: no memory of the early months). I don't know why I thought that taking her swimming would be a good idea. Maybe it was something else to do during the day (filling our days up with things to do quickly became an important task so we didn't go stir crazy watching bad daytime tv). Her first lesson was horrendous (although the teacher did say that most babies react the same way). It was a half hour lesson, she screamed for about twenty minutes of it, fed for five and was okay for the other five. But now, nearly four months on, she is getting much better. Not perfect (I have a separate post about last Friday's lesson) but better.
It's an odd thing being a mother. It's something that I always wanted, and thought I was ready for, but in hindsight, I could never be ready. I look at her, and have such a full heart for her. She's adorable, beautiful, challenging, naughty, sweet all wrapped up in soft squishy little human.
I've caved and created a baby blog. In my defence, we have most of our family and a lot of friends in Australia so it's a convenient way of people keeping up to date with what's going on. I'll post a recap of the past five (!) months in future posts. In the meantime here is a picture of how I found her this morning. I bought a cot bumper today.
